Being best man comes with two big jobs: the speech and the stag. The speech can wait. The stag can't, because the best weekends, rooms and activity slots go to the groups who sort them first.
Here's the whole job laid out as a timeline. It assumes the stag is about six weeks before the wedding, which is typical. If you're starting late, do the first three sections in one go.
Six months or more before the stag
- ☐ Sit down with the groom. Who must come, what he'd hate, UK or abroad, and how much he wants to know in advance.
- ☐ Write the guest list. Split it into the core group and the maybes. Get names, mobile numbers and emails in one place.
- ☐ Ask the groom's partner if there are dates to avoid, or anything already promised.
- ☐ Start the group chat. Keep the groom out of it if anything is a surprise. Make one rule: decisions happen by a deadline, not by whoever shouts loudest.
- ☐ Offer two or three weekends and set a reply date. Book around the core group, not the maybes.
Five months before
- ☐ Agree the budget per person. Ask privately if you need to. Decide now whether the group covers the groom's share.
- ☐ Shortlist two or three cities that fit the budget and the group. Our guides to the best UK cities and best European cities help.
- ☐ Check for clashes on your dates: big home matches, festivals, bank holidays. Each of our city pages lists what to look out for.
- ☐ Get a plan and a price. Send us the details or price it yourself. Share the plan in the group chat and give people a week to say yes.
This is the point where most groups book. Around five months out there's still a wide choice of accommodation that keeps the group together, and people have time to spread the cost.
Four months before
- ☐ Confirm the booking. With us, the trip goes on one group link; everyone pays their own deposit to secure their place.
- ☐ Chase the deposits by name, kindly, with a deadline. The link shows you who has paid.
- ☐ Tell everyone the cancellation rules. Deposits aren't refundable. Inside 70 days of the trip the full cost is due. People who know this up front don't drop out late.
- ☐ Going abroad? Book flights now or tell everyone exactly which flights to book. We arrange stays, activities and airport transfers, but flights are booked by the group.
Three months before
- ☐ Check passports. For Europe, a British passport must have been issued less than ten years before you arrive and be valid for at least three months after the day you leave. Our guide to the rules abroad has the detail.
- ☐ Lock in the extras: T-shirts, the groom's outfit, any surprises. Run anything embarrassing past someone who knows the groom well.
- ☐ Remind everyone about the balance date.
Ten weeks before
- ☐ Balances are due. Everyone pays their own through the group link. Check the list and follow up with anyone who hasn't.
- ☐ Final numbers. From here, a drop-out still pays in full, so this is the moment to settle who is coming.
One month before
- ☐ Share the itinerary in the group chat: arrival time, where you're staying, what's booked and when.
- ☐ Sort travel to the city: trains, car shares or a coach. If half the group are coming from one place, ask us about a coach.
- ☐ Travel insurance: remind everyone heading abroad, and anyone with a pricey activity.
- ☐ Collect a small kitty if you're doing one: rounds for the groom, a cake, tips.
The week before
- ☐ Send the final message and pin it: times, addresses, the meeting point, what to bring, a dress code for the night out.
- ☐ Photo ID for everyone. A passport or driving licence, the real thing, not a photo on a phone. Most club doors ask.
- ☐ Check the weather for outdoor activities and tell people what to wear.
- ☐ Save the emergency numbers: our team's, the accommodation's, and 112 if you're abroad (999 in the UK).
- ☐ Pack for the groom if he's being kept in the dark. Our packing list covers the essentials.
On the weekend
- ☐ Do the active stuff early. Karting tracks and shooting ranges turn away anyone who has been drinking.
- ☐ Pace the first night. The groom should still be standing for the big one.
- ☐ Split up at club doors. Groups of four to six get in. Groups of twenty get turned away.
- ☐ Keep a head count when you move between places, and agree where to meet if someone gets lost.
- ☐ Look after the groom. Some stitch-ups are part of it. Anything that could hurt him, get him arrested or cause trouble at home isn't.
The day after
- ☐ A proper breakfast before anyone travels.
- ☐ Check out on time and check rooms for left-behind phones and chargers.
- ☐ Settle any shared costs while everyone still remembers them.
- ☐ Pick the best photos for the speech. Delete the rest.
Want a hand?
Most of this list is admin, and admin is our job. Tell us who's coming, when and roughly what you want to spend. Our team builds the weekend, sends you one link for the group and handles the bookings. Get your plan within 24 hours, or read how to plan a stag do for the thinking behind each step.