Almost every stag guide is written for the best man. This one is for everyone else: the mates, brothers, cousins and colleagues who've just been added to a group chat called something unrepeatable.
Your job is simpler than his, but it matters. A stag goes well when the guests reply on time, pay on time and turn up ready to make the groom's weekend. Here's how.
When the invite lands
- Reply by the deadline. The best man can't book anything until he knows the numbers. "Probably" isn't an answer; "yes" or "no" is.
- Be honest about dates. If you can only do the Saturday, say so now. It's much easier to plan around than a late drop-out.
- Don't relitigate every decision. One suggestion in the group chat is helpful. A daily campaign for Magaluf is not.
- Keep secrets secret. If the groom doesn't know the destination, don't post it anywhere he might see it.
Paying your share
With us, the trip goes on one group link. Open it and you'll see the full plan and the price each. Then:
- Pay your deposit to secure your place. Until you do, your bed and activity slot aren't held.
- Pay your balance by the date shown. It's due ten weeks before the trip, and you can pay any time before then.
- That's it. You pay us directly, so the best man isn't chasing you or holding everyone's money, and he can see who has paid.
Know the rules before you pay. Deposits aren't refundable, and if you cancel within 70 days of the trip, the full cost is due, because by then your room and activities are booked and paid for. If you're not sure you can go, say so before you pay, not after.
The groom's share
On most stags, the group covers the groom's place between them. It usually adds a modest amount to each person: on a twelve-person trip at £270 each, it's about £25 extra for everyone else. The best man should tell you up front if it's included in your price. If he hasn't, ask.
If money's tight
Stags aren't cheap, and the groom would rather have you there for part of it than not at all. If the price is too much:
- Tell the best man privately, and early. Not in the group chat, and not a week before the trip.
- Suggest what you can do. Come for the Saturday only, skip the dearer activity, or join for the dinner.
- Don't invent an excuse. Groomsmen talk. "I can't stretch to it this year, but I'll be there Saturday night" is fine and nobody will think less of you.
Best men: if one person's struggling, others probably are too. Our cost guide has ways to bring the price down.
Before you travel
- Read the plan. Know the times, the addresses and the dress code for the night out.
- Check your passport if you're going abroad. Our guide to the rules abroad explains the dates that matter.
- Book the right flight. We don't arrange flights, so the group books its own. Book the one the best man tells you to, not a cheaper one that lands three hours later.
- Bring photo ID. The real thing. Most club doors ask, at home and abroad.
- Pack properly. Our packing list covers it.
On the weekend
- Be on time. Activities start when they start, and twenty people waiting for one is how slots get lost.
- Pace yourself. It's a marathon. The groom needs his crew standing on the big night, and karting tracks and shooting ranges won't let you on if you've been drinking.
- Split up at club doors when asked. Fours and sixes get in; twenty don't.
- Respect the locals. People live above the bars in most of the cities we go to. Several of them now fine stag groups for noise, street drinking and costumes.
- Look after the accommodation. Damage and noise complaints come out of somebody's pocket, and it might be yours.
- Look after each other. Nobody walks home alone. Nobody goes near water after a drink.
The groom comes first
It's his weekend. A few forfeits and a daft outfit are part of the tradition. Anything that could hurt him, embarrass him in front of his partner's family or cost him his job is not. If you're planning a surprise, run it past the best man first.
If the plan includes anything 18+, it should be because the groom wants it. Each city page keeps those options behind a separate 18+ section, and it's fine for any guest to sit them out.
If you can't go after all
Things happen. Tell the best man as soon as you know, and tell us in writing. Before the 70-day mark you lose your deposit; after it, the full cost is due. If someone else can take your place, ask the best man to speak to us.
Little things that make you a great guest
- Get the first round in for the groom. He shouldn't put his hand in his pocket all weekend.
- Help the best man. Offer to run a small group at the club door, carry the kitty or keep the head count.
- Talk to the people you don't know. The groom's work mates and his brother-in-law-to-be are there for the same reason you are.
- Take some photos the groom will actually want. Group shots in daylight, before it gets messy.
Afterwards
- Settle any shared costs straight away.
- Send the best man your photos (the printable ones) for the speech.
- What happens on the stag stays on the stag. Mostly.
Organising the next one yourself? Start with how to plan a stag do, then tell us about the group and we'll send a full plan within 24 hours.