London Big Weekend

Your weekend, day by day

1. 1

   Day 1

   

   Boat party & cruise

   From about 15:00 · 3 hours

   Arrival day. Travel in and check in, then the boat party on the Thames: board at the fixed time, with a bar and music on board. Latecomers are left behind, so build in a margin. Bring a layer for the river.

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   London's party boats run four hours on the Thames: 7pm to 11pm on Fridays and 8pm to midnight on Saturdays, with boarding 15 minutes before departure. They leave from a central pier, usually Festival Pier or Westminster, confirmed about a week ahead, and pass the London Eye, Tower Bridge and Greenwich. Expect a DJ, a pay bar and a light buffet. Afternoon themed cruises run from about 1pm to 5pm. It is strictly 18+ with photo ID, and free club entry afterwards has to be requested in advance. Some boats do not sail in December.

   You board at a fixed time and the boat runs a set loop, so latecomers are left on the dock. Onboard there is a bar and usually a DJ or a sound system you can plug into. Some are private charters for your group alone, others are shared with other bookings.

   What is included varies more here than anywhere else: some are entry only, some include a drinks package, some include food. Get that in writing before you pay.

   Deck shoes or trainers, nothing with a heel. It is colder on the water than on land, even in summer, so bring a layer.

   

   Club entry, VIP & booths

   From about 23:00 · 2.5 hours

   The reserved table and club entry. London door policies are stricter than elsewhere in the UK, so the booking matters. No sportswear, no matching shirts, and nobody visibly drunk gets in.

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   For London groups, the reliable format is a reserved area with guestlist entry rather than turning up at a door. Packages in Covent Garden and Shoreditch give the group a set area for about two hours, with a welcome drink, two or three cocktails each and a round of shots, and VIP club packages hold a table for the night. Smart casual or better is expected, and six is a common minimum. Book the area for the time you will actually arrive, as reserved areas are held for a set window.

   Standard entry gets the group past the queue on a guest list, which matters because large male groups are the first ones a door turns away. A booth adds a reserved table, a set number of bottles with mixers and a host who looks after the table.

   Booths are sold on a minimum spend rather than a flat fee at many clubs, so the bottles you order count towards it. Ask what the minimum is and what it includes before you agree to anything.

   Dress code is enforced hard on stag groups. No sportswear, no trainers at some doors, no matching shirts, and nobody visibly drunk gets in regardless of the booking.

2. 2

   Day 2

   

   Comedy club

   From about 19:30 · 2.5 hours

   A free day, then the comedy club in the evening: a compere and a run of stand-ups across two halves. Arrive in good time, as some clubs swap tickets for wristbands well before the show, and some ban fancy dress and football shirts.

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   Options for groups include a club on Cambridge Heath Road in east London and a floating comedy club on a moored boat on Victoria Embankment, plus West End nights of two and a half to three hours. At the east London club, tickets must be swapped for wristbands by 7.15pm for an 8pm show. On the boat, doors open at 7pm on Fridays and Saturdays, and groups of eight or more pay a small cash behaviour deposit and sign a no-heckling agreement. Its dress code bans fancy dress, tracksuit bottoms and football shirts.

   The night runs a couple of hours in two halves, with a compere linking three or four stand-ups. Drinks are served at the table between acts at most clubs, and there is usually a bar afterwards.

   A stag group at the front will be found out by the compere within the first two minutes. Sit further back if that is going to ruin somebody's night.

   Smart-casual. Get there for the doors rather than the start time, because seating is often unreserved and a late group ends up split up.

3. 3

   Day 3

   

   Group dinner & restaurant

   From about 19:30 · 2 hours

   The booked group dinner, with one table for the whole group. Confirm final numbers and any dietary needs with the restaurant ahead of the day. If the group is heading out afterwards, dress for the bars rather than the restaurant.

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   For a stag, the useful London dinners are set menus in and around Soho and Leicester Square, where the rest of the night is a short walk away. Group menus usually need a pre-order, and some want ten or more. For something different, a dinner bus tour leaves from Embankment at 7.15pm (meet at 7pm) and serves six courses over two hours 45 minutes while passing the sights. A medieval banquet with comedy hosts fills about four hours. If the group is in a rented house, a private chef can cook there, provided there is a working kitchen.

   A restaurant taking a large group will usually want a set menu, a deposit and final numbers a few days ahead. That is normal and it works in your favour: the food comes out together and the bill is per head rather than an hour of arithmetic.

   Tell them about allergies and anyone who does not eat meat when you confirm the numbers, not on the night.

   Dress code is the restaurant's. If you are heading to a club afterwards, dress for the club, because the restaurant is the softer door.