London Big Weekend

You board at a fixed time and the boat runs a set loop, so latecomers are left on the dock. Onboard there is a bar and usually a DJ or a sound system you can plug into. Some are private charters for your group alone, others are shared with other bookings. What is included varies more here than anywhere else: some are entry only, some include a drinks package, some include food. Get that in writing before you pay. Deck shoes or trainers, nothing with a heel. It is colder on the water than on land, even in summer, so bring a layer.

Standard entry gets the group past the queue on a guest list, which matters because large male groups are the first ones a door turns away. A booth adds a reserved table, a set number of bottles with mixers and a host who looks after the table. Booths are sold on a minimum spend rather than a flat fee at many clubs, so the bottles you order count towards it. Ask what the minimum is and what it includes before you agree to anything. Dress code is enforced hard on stag groups. No sportswear, no trainers at some doors, no matching shirts, and nobody visibly drunk gets in regardless of the booking.

The night runs a couple of hours in two halves, with a compere linking three or four stand-ups. Drinks are served at the table between acts at most clubs, and there is usually a bar afterwards. A stag group at the front will be found out by the compere within the first two minutes. Sit further back if that is going to ruin somebody's night. Smart-casual. Get there for the doors rather than the start time, because seating is often unreserved and a late group ends up split up.

A restaurant taking a large group will usually want a set menu, a deposit and final numbers a few days ahead. That is normal and it works in your favour: the food comes out together and the bill is per head rather than an hour of arithmetic. Tell them about allergies and anyone who does not eat meat when you confirm the numbers, not on the night. Dress code is the restaurant's. If you are heading to a club afterwards, dress for the club, because the restaurant is the softer door.